So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
