I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just tell him i said nine months
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize