i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
