you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
