All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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