There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
