I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
