She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
They took my balls.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
