Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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