All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
