shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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