What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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