well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
