she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
