shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
