STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
