He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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