are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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