that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
