Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
