well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
