hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize