Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
