now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Let's get the cat blown out
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize