Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize