Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize