i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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