i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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