i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize