if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
