1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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