Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
