next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
