Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
