Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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