I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
