What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
