I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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