Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
