You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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