she kept yelling 'call me bella'
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
