...so i touched it.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
