I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
