never play flip cup with pint glasses
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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