you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize