lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
