You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
