I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
