i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
