ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Someone signed my nipple.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
