I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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