Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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