Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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