if i can run in heels then i can drive
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
