shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
