I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i would punch a child for taco bell
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
