wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
