He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
